Pleasant Surprise?

I got way too many surprises today. I think my heart can't take them all.

I type with my hands trembling, my breathe choking, my heart pounding.

Why on earth the two people that I care the most, who had supposedly disappeared from my life, come back so sudden? Should I be happy, or should I be scared? What kind of reaction should I give?

So I responded with a cold tone, hoping that will cover up my nervousness, even though we are so far apart, and we are just talking in front of a stupid digital screen. God knows how much I miss them both, how much I wish them two to come back when they just left.

But after a while, when I finally let my feelings down, I sat down and think quietly. Is this what I want? Are they coming back temporarily? Or what? Permanent? I don't think so.

I know, this is just a place for them to take a rest, to take some fresh air. But this is definitely not the life they would spend the rest of their lives. So where will I stand at that time? I am different, I have my own responsibilities, or what you should call as burden. But this is something that I should shoulder on, and there's no one else.

I've got myself an answer.

This surprise, is indeed pleasant. I can't deny that I miss you too much, that sometimes I even dream about you. But this, I think, have to stop. We have our own lives to pursue. I finally admit it, I can't follow wherever you go. I was too naive to assume that last time. I am not free, you see. I don't have the same freedom as you do.

So I wish you well, again. I wish you everything that you want and everything that you deserve. I'll be standing here to see you fly, with a big smile on my face, waving goodbye.