Watching my hand getting harden my chalk powder makes me think a lot. Is this teaching profession really for me?
For a moment I doubt my ability in doing things. I am not exceptionally hardworking in doing things like other teachers do. The actual teaching practice scared me. I did not sign up for all these bullshits in teaching profession, I just want to teach.
I was forced to do the things that I don't want to. I was not allowed to do things as freely as I want to.
This profession has been nothing but ripping off my freedom in life, which I love so much. I need freedom like a pampered child. I just need it, no other explanations.
But there is something magical about this job, the bond and relationship that you build over time. When you see a bunch of stranger monkeys getting used to you, starting to respond to you and be your friends, you'll actually feel touched.
For a moment again, I think I'm perfect for this job.
But then again and again, can I deal with separation?
I hate this kind of feeling. I hate my feelings being all over the place. This is bad, really bad.
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