So I made an experiment, I counted the number of times I say heck care and the number of times I deal back with the same problem again after I said that phrase and times with a hundred percent, the number I get is almost shocking. It's a full one zero zero.
This big fat three numbers proves that I'm such a bad liar to myself. When I say I heck care, I actually do care even more.
Take instance from a recent problem that has been bugging me like hell. A friend kinda turned her back on me, just because of a new influence, I guess. I was disappointed very much, since we were once so close. But I too realized that I can't force a friend to stay put with me, what more be loyal to one. So I chose to say "heck care" to myself. But it seems to me that I actually care too much, to the extend I started to avoid this particular friend.
I'm a coward, I know. I choose to avoid any kind of hurtful circumstances around me. My knee was scrapped once, I don't have to scrap them the second time.
Claire De Lune is in its magic again. I'm an emo bitch again.