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Wednesday, October 27, 2010


My stress level is up to my nostrils! WTF!
I fucking hate this life! I fucking hate exams!

Monday, October 18, 2010


It is a sick obsession to force others to think and act according to your wants, and I have one.

I must be quite good in my persuasion. 70% of my pleas end up with the ways I want. Most of it were materials, some of it are humans. Some, are just pure evil intentions.

But lately I find myself reluctant to repeat the act, towards everything and everyone. I just simply, let go. I don't force, I don't beg, I just don't act. When the old me would try anything to get the things I wanted, the new me, well, it's a lazy person. I finally able to give and take whatever that I have been offered with. I have no complains nor kicks.

Is this the way that I'm going to end all my obsession all these while? Am I moving towards the path of goodness?

However, deep down in me there's still an itch, telling me to end things with a final act. A test of ability and skill, I shall put it.

Deep down in me also tells me that, there's a risk of me going back to the old self once I tasted the sweetness of victory. Because once an obsession, you'll never forget the taste of it.

I'm such a cannibal. I know. So should I go ahead to do it, or not?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Thin Line

There's always a fine line between each relationship. From friends, we can turn to lovers. But from friends, we can turn to foes. The relationship is always affected and clouded by our own judgments as well as our emotions. A slight change in any of these, then the thin line will be blurred.

That's why I say here today, there is no certain relationship in this world. One minute you may be close, another and you'll be apart.

It is not that I don't have strong faith in my relationship. I do, or perhaps I should put it as I very much want to have. But sometimes there's just too many things that happened around us that challenge our better judgments, to the extend that it shook the very core of our beliefs. We question, we doubt.

And the fine line here now is crossed. Where the line that drew that relationship some time ago, now blurred, and expanded into something else. We started to have jealousy, uncertainties, and misunderstandings. That relationship evolved into something ugly, and ended up broken.

But why should be blur away this thin line? Or why should we even have a line to label the relationship? Do we need that line to tell us what are we suppose to expect, or to act and respond?

No we don't. And that is why I really can't come to terms with those other halves, saying "you've crossed your line". If you love me, why do you need to draw a line to bound me in? If you love me, why do you need a line to separate us?

Have you ever thought that, if we erase that line, we could not just be lovers, we could be friends, we could be each others' teachers, we could be each others' mentors, we could be anything we want to be, isn't that great?

Let those thin lines disappear, will you? I don't need a line to draw my love for you.