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Thursday, May 28, 2009

How to act proper?

how to give a correct reaction to something that happened around you? when you clearly feel dissapointed, but you choose to hide your true feelings and act that everything is fine and okay just to avoid a possible conflict..

am i doing the right thing?

every relationship needs honesty, be true to one self so that the relationship can go long lasting without any misunderstanding or arguments.. but sometimes things wont happen like what we planned or expected.. just as the moment i saw those words that proved that they were once so close and so happy together, i feel myself as the third party who got into the two of them..

i only dare to speak out here.. i do not dare to tell him.. i'm scared..

so is this a proper act? for not being honest but my action is to avoid any possible fights between us.. our relationship is not in a stable state, and i am quite certain that it wont go anywhere far in this short period of time.. we will still face the same problem as he had faced before, we will still have to be parted in to distinct places.. we will still be seperated..

one day, i wish that one day never come..

Letting Go

learning to let go is definitely not an easy thing to do..

when you are struggling to let go of the things that you had once loved so much, the memory would be inevitable, the pain will always be there.. it brings you laughter and also tears.. but this is life, and we just have to take it and accept it..

i have learn to let go of a lot of things.. making choices and facing those consequences were painful, but i am now slowly getting use to it.. getting number of those sorrowful feelings is what i am doing now.. keep telling myself, "it's going to be fine" and "it's going to be over soon" is now my everyday in-front-of-mirror-chanting.. i know i had repeated this over and over again in my previous entries, but things just kept on repeating in my life, and i choose to spill it all out here..

i know it's hard, and i'm still learning.. everything that happened in my life is my destiny prepared by god, and i believe these hardships will make me a better person in life.. i admit that i am not a person with outstanding personalities or carry the best behaviour, but everyday i try to improve myself, seeking my own weaknesses and try to improve them.. at least i made the effort, don't i?

i know people talk behind my back, i know some who talk and some who don't.. yes, i dislike and despite their behaviours, but again i tell myself what is the use to confront them and be angry about what they have done? i chose to avoid a conflictal situation, and i don't see any problem in it.. people take it as a coward act, but i said, i save a lot of time, energy and other people's trouble.. i do not want my friends to choose side, they have the right to be with any sides of friends..

thats why i said, letting go is a hard thing to accomplish.. i consider it as an achievement in life.. i learn to let go, although painful, but i will take it with every ounce of might.. may i be blessed with love always with those who really love and care about me.. i love you guys too.. thanks for being with me.. =)