A White Lie

It crushed my heart when I had this conversation, so distant, so cold, as if we never know each other. Two persons who once so close, they now speak like strangers. Casualties asked are common, indifferent, and monotonous, like completing a single routine, rushing to the end of the topic. I can’t help but blinked out a drop of tears. Again, I tell myself, its ok, I can handle this. I am perfectly fine.

I lied to him. I told him that I’ll be going overseas, leaving this place. I don’t know if I’m right to do this, but I just can’t bear to see his face anymore, nor going back to the place that once belongs to him and me. Those memories are sweet and naive; and I really don’t want to bring back tears there. I shall cherish those moments, only in my memory. I shall never return.

To that place, where he once allowed me to call as my home, I bid adieu. I’ll always miss the laughter I had there, and the warmth that I once shared. I now gave those back to all of you, hoping that you will forgive me. Sorry if I had brought any difficulties and discomfort in your life, and sorry if I had caused any misunderstandings among you all. You now have my assurance, that I’ll never be back under any circumstances, and you have my promise, that I’ll be always missing you all.

To you, I’m leaving. I always thought that we can be friends, but I’m not the person that I once thought anymore. I cannot deny this fact that I’m weak, for now I had to runaway from you and anything related to you. I would like, very much, to hold your hands again and say sorry, say thank you, but I just can’t do that. The conversation that we had just now, would be our end. I owe you too much, and I don’t know how to repay. This is the only way that I can think of to repay you. You’ll have my blessings for your whole life. I’ll be watching from afar, wishing your everyday to be happy and contented. And most importantly, I wish you love and happiness.

Goodbye, the last word that I say. Our last conversation ended with my lie, that would be my sorry to you.

11th January 2009 - 2.39am