Mommy told me that every relationship should start with a close observation, followed by a period of knowing-each-other time and then go into the relationship. I’ve heard this so-called golden rule zillion of times, since people around me who looked up to this rule said that it is advisable for us to know a person before we actually move on to the next stage with that particular person. I know what they wanted to tell me, and right now I perfectly understand why they said that, but why I just can’t follow this “golden” rule?
Maybe it’s because of the sickness; I’m very scared of being alone. I used to be alone at home. Even now, which my mommy claimed that I’ve been MIA for almost 4 months and FINALLY came back home, my parents actually left me alone at home after 5 minutes I stepped in the house. ( Talk about feelings of disappointment huh? LOLX.. ) But I’m perfectly cool with that, since my mom and dad, very rarely, they are actually going out together. So as a filial daughter I should not interrupt their moments together, and I let out a sigh, and waved goodbye to them both. =X
And then, I was alone. At first it was fine, and later the stupid thunder came into the picture. And guess what, this is the moment I started to get panicked and scared, and my parents don’t usually bring their phones with them. ( Duhhh, what’s the use of 5 phones per family. ) Maybe you’ll start laughing at me, saying that “Walau you very timid lehh, thunder also scared. Go hide under your bed lahh!!”. And then I’ll reply and say “Okie, I’ll go hide under my blankie and cover my ears with my pillow.” But that doesn’t really works.
So this is the moment, when I feel I was all alone, cold and dark. This is the time when I remember back all my ex-es how they used to console me when I was scared. And also, this is the time I really longed for a man to come and give me a hug and a kiss on my forehead, telling me that everything will be ok. For a while I’ll cry, thinking that I got no one to call to during this kind of stormy night. But now, realizing that there’s no use crying over this kind of uncontrollable weather, I try to make myself braver. I’ll put on my earphone and on my favourite song, and I SING!! Although I’m still scared at least I can do something that makes me relax and ease my tension a little bit. Hopefully it will always work. =)
So I guess I’ve gone out of my topic. =P
Back to “slow and steady”. Knowing the reason why I tend to get into a relationship in an amazing speed, I’m now confused either sticking to my own way or follow this golden rules that everyone says that there’s definitely no harm leading this way. If I go with my old way I can get all the fun and thrill that I’ve always had in the beginning of a relationship, and I’ll get superb heart-broken at the end of it, looking damn pathetic and useless. Or I should follow what everyone says, take my time and slowly get into a steady relationship. Not so much of fun and thrill, but longer-lasting and less pain. I think I had the answer with me right now, in my head.
Long-lasting is my answer. And YES, I’ll wait till the day you say yes to me. ^_^
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
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