I'm Sick

I took in a deep breath when he told me. I whispered to myself “Everything is going to be fine; I’m perfectly ok with it.”

Who would think that I’m a weakling, with my body size and my constant laughing, nobody would ever expect that. But it just happened, and I could not do anything about it. Maybe it’s my fate to have this kind of experience, and I should just accept it. Turn after turn, my tears is no longer in sight. If destiny wants me to suffer before I get what I want, I would be happy to do that. I don’t want to fight, I’m tired of fighting.

But I’m not sad, for someone told me that he disliked negativity. I tried to cheer-up myself everyday, despite the pain that I have to take. I never showed any signs of discomfort in front of mommy and daddy, I don’t want them to be down. I want everyone around me to be happy; I don’t want them to share the same thing with me.

Sis came back. I started to sleep alone in the living room. I couldn’t understand why I can no longer share the same bed with her. Maybe it’s my sense of solitude. I need to be alone in the middle of the night, with the lights on. Daddy came and lied down on the sofa beside. I appreciate that, at least daddy understands my need to be alone, he came and accompany silently.

And lastly, you. How I wished I could see you, but the reality doesn’t allow me to. I really hope I can spend my Christmas with you. I’m sorry, I can’t believe it, because I’m not even sure that me, would grant myself this wish.

Good Luck in your studies. You’ll always have my blessings. =)