Back

You came back again, out of no where.

Was it pleasant? I wasn't all sure. But it was good to have news from you again.

How are you now? I hope life's been good to you. I am fine over here. Work started and I was stressed to the max. But right now, I can still cope it. Thank you for asking.

Waiting makes my heart grew fonder of you. That's weird, I don't know how that happened.

I hope this time around you'll linger longer. Let me catch my breath before you're gone again.

Blame It On Who?

I've always been asking questions.

Why am I not born in a richer family?
Why am I not born pretty?
Why am I not given things that I want?
Why can't I trust every single friend I have?
Why can't I have this oh-so-perfect boyfriend?
Why can't I live my life like I want?

I end up blaming the others, and blaming myself.

Today I wonder why I never learn to appreciate.

I am born in a moderate family, at least we are all quite happy together.
I am not born pretty, but at least there's people who adores me.
I am not given the things I want, but at least I can learn to like the things that I am given now.
I can't trust every single friend I have right now, so I can find myself more friends and I learn to trust myself more.
I don't have a perfect boyfriend, but at least the one I have now is a good guy with great heart.
I'm not living the life I want right now, but I will cherish whatever I have now and make the best out of it.

Even if I'm not rich, not pretty, I still have my own little life. It may not be great, it might not be interesting to others, but it is still the life that I need to go through for the next 50 years. So like it or not, I am going to love every moment I have right now.

So the same applies to the crisis I have now. I used to cry and whine, I used to blame. But now,

I'm a grown-up now, I'm going to face crisis like an adult. There's no one to be blamed on, just you and yourself.

To Those Who Are In Pain

"One Day You Will" - Lady Antebellum
(Dave Haywood / Charles Kelley / Hillary Scott / Clay Mills)

You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now

Chorus
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet

Repeat Chorus

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

Repeat Chorus

One day you will
Oh one day you will

Sudden Thought

People always dread what they don't have. Am I correct?

Today I was browsing through several pictures online and I had this sudden thought. What if I'm the person in the picture? Could I possible substitute them? Could I be better?

All of those pictures are a role I once played or never play. I've always wanted them but I can't have them. When I asked the reason why I can't have them, they reply in the same manner - "It's not the time for you yet."

So when exactly is the right time?

When you people tell me that, have you ever think of the answer of my follow-up question?

I believe all of them could not answer my question. It's too hard for them to handle someone like me. So I should laugh, shouldn't I? The fact that I am too much to handle, either literally or figuratively.

So what happen now would be I would continue to drag on till eternity, and those who told me it's not time will find some other person with better timing.

Life sucks, and I know it. But what we can do is to embrace it and make the best out of it. So I play a little trick or tell a little lie? So what? As long as it will not harm any other people, I don't see the reason why we should not lie.

That statement, I guess, contradicted my own self. I've always upheld the notion of honesty. But sometimes when you're being too honest, you end up hurting each other, you end up hurting other people.

Mu sudden thought is weird today. I wish to be someone I'm not right now.

Finally At Work!

Been quite some times since I update this blog. Finally I'm in the real practice, the real classroom situation. Finally, after 6 years of learning and training!

It wasn't easy to be in the classroom, facing the actual students. All the mock teaching that I've done before were totally different from I am experiencing now. It was hard to keep up to the pace and time, what more the students' random responses. It is definitely a touch call, I was at the brink of giving up during the first few class. But I think it will get better with the passing of time, just need to gain some more experience to handle those hyped up teenagers in classroom.

Keep telling myself shouldn't be a problem. But I am having trouble myself. I've been eating like nobody's business. I wanted to start my gym routine but with all the work load, it is so not possible to happen.

I miss the old workout self. At least I get to sweat all those unhealthy things out. I miss my gym. :(