原点

还记得16岁的那一年，曾经有那么一个人，用尽他的全力去宠爱我，保护我，不让我受到一丝一毫的伤害。曾经有那么一个人，宁愿挨饿受苦也要让我得到我想要的，给我最好的。曾经有那么一个人，明知道我不好，也默默的守在我的身边，然后对我说 “等你在外面玩够了，累了，就回来；我会等你”。可是就因为我16岁，不懂得珍惜这个人，然后狠狠地把他抛弃了，就算他手上捧着99朵玫瑰花，我也不回头。

那样的一个人被我伤害了，也不怪我，也不恨我。辗转到我二十出头了，才发现，至始至终，最疼我最爱我的，还是当初的那个他。

但是我也知道，人生不能重来。所以后来的我常感叹，哪一天如果我再遇见那样的一个他，我一定不会放手。就算受伤，我也要把他留下来。

可是今天，我放手了。一个爱我疼我宠我的人，我放手了。

我哭，但是我知道这一次依然不能重来。两次都是我放的手，两次都是让别人受到了伤害。

我的人生仿佛又回到了16岁的那一年。我总是为了当初他说的那一句话而泪流满面，现在的我却没理由的哭了。

是我变了吗？我要的，难道就跟8年前不一样吗？

我哭，是因为我不知道我要些什么。就连现在的他问我，“你爱我吗？”，我也无法回答他。

我挣扎，我发了狂的想找回理由。可是到了这一刻，我还是找不到。

我只能说，8年前的我不认识寂寞，8年后的我，已经和寂寞分不了手。

所以我只能逃，逃回原点，只有我一个人的原点。

对不起，是我的任性让你受伤。是我的无知让你委屈。你哭过的眼泪，我会慢慢还给你。你哭不出来的眼泪，让我一次帮你流干。

Expectation

It was rather bad, when you were below someone's expectation; and due to that unsatisfactory they turned into someone that we did not know.

One bad break up would show you the true colours that one should have known from the beginning of a relationship, or even friendship.

Patience could have bring peace, but when a person was under a massive amount of pressure, no human would still take it in in a calm manner. Anyone would have burst.

But the way you lash out your stress and anger is dependable on your upbringing and your personality. Some choose to shout, some choose to cry, some choose to bad mouth the other party till they get the comfort they want.

So when you are the victim of the bad-mouthing, you can't really blame that person for being inconsiderate or even childish, you can only blame yourself that you chose to know the wrong person.

Expectation is a serious game. It could give you hope, but at the same time, it could bring out the worst.

The Last Straw

Times and times again I tell myself to be patient in this relationship, because many had told me to go for the one who loves me more than I love him. I was told I will be happier in this kind of pattern, at least be pampered, be loved. Yet this is getting more painful than what I used to have. 

Because of your "concern", you've decided to call my parents.

So you think that is going to magically straighten me out and made me cry at your feet and apologize?

You, have reached the bottom line, my last straw. 

The moment you decided to call my parents for "good", that was it. There's no more turning back for you and me. That's it! We are DONE!

If being a MORON is what you've chose, GREAT! I'm so freaking relieved of you getting the hell out of my life! Please be as distant as you could so that I could no longer be reminded of you. Every moronic act you did REPELS me.

So what if I've hurt your feelings? So what if I don't give you your respect? Do what if I don't give a damn of your manly dignity?

YOU CHOSE TO STAY PUT WHEN I ASKED YOU TO LEAVE.

YOU CHOOSE IT YOURSELF!

I had never even once asked you to stay. I had never lied about who or what I am. But you thought that you could handle me and chose to continue.

So now I've hurt your feelings, and you blame it all on me?

PLEASE GO GET A LIFE, relationships aren't a sweet bed of roses you fool! If you feel threaten by me or me being unmanageable, please, LEAVE. 

I'm so used to be a bad guy, and I am one again now. SO WHAT?