Sleepless Night

Again it was filled with multiple thoughts. Late night is always the best time to dive into my thoughts and have conflicts with myself.

It is always this question. Should I or should I not?

Should I take away those things that once belonged to us?
Should I make it known?

Part of me asks me to just move on, but part of me tells me that maybe there's a shot for things to spark again.

I don't know, which part of me should I listen.

I'm creating problems for others it seems, that if I can't make up my mind soon it will soon kills another thousands of brain cells of others.

What should I do? Can somebody tell me?

Is It All True?

Sometimes I wonder, whether the things that happened around me are all true. One moment I felt like I'm still happily going to college; and the next thing that I know, I'm struggling to get myself up to go to work.

I have been dreading so much. That today I actually fake my medical leave to escape from school for a day. I can't bear to see them, let alone going in the class to let them mentally torture me. It's not that those kids aren't good kids. I just can't chirp up myself every single day when I see them.

I'm not a person full of laughter and passion. I need some emo time on my own.

And at this kind of moment, I miss you the most. I used to get to you so easily, but it's all gone now. I hate it when we're greeting each other so casually. I miss the time when we joke and laugh together. I miss the time when I can't sleep at night, I can call you every single hour to disturb your tetris time. I miss the time when you hold me in your arms, and ask me to be good when I'm not with you.

But I must admit that everything is gone now. This time, the effect of this breakup is really slow. It's consuming me slowly, that I can no longer breathe right, or sleep right.

Sometimes in the middle of the night I woke up, I search for your name and hesitate to call. Sometimes I wonder whether it is all true. Sometimes I wish I can still be your girl.

Valentine

I think Valentine's Day had lost all it's original purpose. How beautiful is it if there's someone who stills uphold the same intention as Pope Valentine during his time. A love letter would be sufficient to touch the deepest core of my heart. There's no need for expensive gifts or extravagant roses.

Sometimes sincere words is the only thing that girls need.

But how many of guys of there really know this?

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Spread the wings of love all around! :)

Why Is It So Hard To Trust?

After everything that I've been through, I've realized that I have this trust issue. Not to one person in particular, but in general. I generally do not simply trust anyone that is around me.

Is it because that person has not done enough to earn my trust yet?

Is it because of those unintentional actions that they made, caused the distrust?

Or is it simply because of me? That I am the one who chose not to trust?

Dilemma. Might as well off the lights and sleep tonight.

Bad Guy

I was wondering if I'm the bad guy in this whole situation. It seems like two different stories have been told to two parties.

So I'm the bad guy now?

I don't know how should I respond to that. Like seriously.

After 2 Weeks, Finally The Tears

I don't know if you're reading this. I'm assuming you do.

Thank you for the concern. I'll take good care of myself. Though I might find someone better, or worse, I'll never find someone just like you.

You were once the world for me. But everything has to change now. I guess life would still go on without you, and your's without me. I hope for the best for both of us, I really do.

I love you. Bye.

February 2012

Originally I have a blogpost stored away in my draft section. Was thinking whether or not to post it, but in the end decided not to. What's the point of posting it anyway, it had lost it's purpose. Nothing has to be said and done again, the end means the end.

Moving on to the second month of the new year. Chinese New Year was officially the end, so does my relationship. I've only told certain closest friends about this, and decided not to change anything abruptly on the web. That's the least that I could do, I would break this slowly to those people whom we both know. But if he chooses to tell it, I have no grudge against it.

Had a short break this month and spent it with my cousin and friends in JB and Singapore. Really thank you all for making my day, all those touring around and shopping, it was really fun. Thanks for all the concerns - hugs and kisses for you all. :)


Gift from JX. Thank you. It really reminds me of your big laughter. :P

Thanks for all the attention and time. Thank you for all the concerns. Thanks you for your wake up call every single morning and booty call every single night. Thank you for your patience, your kindness, and your love. I really felt appreciated.

Looking forward for the Valentine weekend with you. <3

Happy February everyone, I'm counting days to my March one week holiday. 31 days to go! :P