Is It All True?

Sometimes I wonder, whether the things that happened around me are all true. One moment I felt like I'm still happily going to college; and the next thing that I know, I'm struggling to get myself up to go to work.

I have been dreading so much. That today I actually fake my medical leave to escape from school for a day. I can't bear to see them, let alone going in the class to let them mentally torture me. It's not that those kids aren't good kids. I just can't chirp up myself every single day when I see them.

I'm not a person full of laughter and passion. I need some emo time on my own.

And at this kind of moment, I miss you the most. I used to get to you so easily, but it's all gone now. I hate it when we're greeting each other so casually. I miss the time when we joke and laugh together. I miss the time when I can't sleep at night, I can call you every single hour to disturb your tetris time. I miss the time when you hold me in your arms, and ask me to be good when I'm not with you.

But I must admit that everything is gone now. This time, the effect of this breakup is really slow. It's consuming me slowly, that I can no longer breathe right, or sleep right.

Sometimes in the middle of the night I woke up, I search for your name and hesitate to call. Sometimes I wonder whether it is all true. Sometimes I wish I can still be your girl.