As mentioned in the title, there are just some bitch that you can't get rid off. Be it one of your bitchy family member, your classmate, your course mate, your whoever person that you are stuck with forever or need to see their face on daily basis. When you encounter someone like that, then let me tell you, FUCKING BE PATIENT, BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
Yes some of you may tell me just close your both eyes and ears and ignore it. But when that BITCH goes into your head and nostrils, FREAKISHLY IRRITATING EVERY NERVE YOU FUCKING HAVE IN YOUR BODY, you can't just FUCKING KEEP QUIET! I'm no saint like some goody-two-shoes. SO STOP FUCKING MESS WITH ME BITCH! GET YOUR OWN LIFE!
SO WHAT IF YOU'RE AN ELDER PERSON THAT ME?
SO FUCKING WHAT IF YOU EARN MORE MONEY?
YOU THINK YOU BUY EVERYTHING FUCKING THING IN THIS HOUSE?
YOU THINK THAT MAKES YOU MORE SUPERIOR THAN EACH AND EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE?
THINK AGAIN BITCH!
THAT BLOODY MONEY YOU EARN DOESN'T MAKE YOU A BLOODY BETTER PERSON!
THAT BLOODY MONEY DOESN'T EARN YOU ANY RESPECT FROM ME
THAT BLOODY MONEY MAKES YOU UGLY AND YOU EARN EVERY OUNCE OF LOATHE FROM ME!
Earning more money doesn't mean that you can be as fucked up as this. You are not a FUCKING GOD WHERE PEOPLE NEED TO RELY ON YOU AND LIVE. At least I DON'T FUCKING NEED YOUR MONEY TO LIVE MY LIFE.
you're FUCKING MARRIED AND WHY THE FUCK YOU JUST MOVE OUT FROM THIS HOUSE?
With that proud money you earn have you EVER EVEN CONTRIBUTE TO SUPPORT THIS HOUSE?
OH YA, THANKS TO ALL THOSE "PRESENTS" AND "FOOD" YOU BROUGHT BACK, OUT OF YOUR FUCKING SYMPATHY.
SAVE THAT FOR YOUR OWN SELF BITCH!
I FUCKING DON'T NEED YOUR SYMPATHY!
SO STOP BEING FUCKED UP AND GET A LIFE BITCH!
I assure you I will live better than you, earn more than you and take whatever responsibility that I'm suppose to have for this house. And the money I earn is FUCKING LEGAL.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Troubled
Few days ago I encountered such situation.
I happened to pass by the usual road down my house and heard some noise. I looked towards and saw a dog was stuck in a drain. My first thought was to rescue the dog from the drain. My I was at the wrong place with wrong time and wrong people.
Everyone who knows me know that I am the youngest in the family with only one sister. I was with my parents that time. I immediately expressed my thought to my parents who were not far from me, where my dad came to look what he could do.
And my mom was shouting from afar.
"Don't touch that dog, it's dirty!"
"You will dirty your shirt. Why need to save that dog?"
I was quite used to my mom's over-reacting towards everything that happened. It has been like this forever, and my only hope for everything would be my dad who often support what I want to do. So I looked at my dad who stood by the drain side.
He was just looking. Nothing else.
I couldn't stand the silence. I asked, aren't you going to do something?
"That dog is old. Leave it here."
Leave it here.
Leave it here.
Leave it here.
It was this fucking one phrase that confirmed that I am the fucking black sheep of this family.
I wanted to do something. I really do. But the size of the dog was impossible for me to do things alone. At that moment I hated myself so much. Why am I so helpless, why I can't even do things that I want peacefully at my own home?
They always say home is the only place you get your comfort. Where is mine? Why do I always get the opposite when I'm home?
I feel like a troubled teenager now. I'm back to the troubled self when I was 16, when I was at my most rebellious time. I thought time would change things around, but I was wrong. It was only getting worse.
This home shuts me down, from any possible thinking or voice.
Sometimes when I think of my future, I would very much like to be living alone, supporting myself with the money I earn. But I know I won't and I can't do that. There is still responsibility that I need to shoulder on. I can't be selfish.
Some may think the incident above is trivial. But you won't understand how I feel. You are not the one who live in this home for the past 22 years.
I happened to pass by the usual road down my house and heard some noise. I looked towards and saw a dog was stuck in a drain. My first thought was to rescue the dog from the drain. My I was at the wrong place with wrong time and wrong people.
Everyone who knows me know that I am the youngest in the family with only one sister. I was with my parents that time. I immediately expressed my thought to my parents who were not far from me, where my dad came to look what he could do.
And my mom was shouting from afar.
"Don't touch that dog, it's dirty!"
"You will dirty your shirt. Why need to save that dog?"
I was quite used to my mom's over-reacting towards everything that happened. It has been like this forever, and my only hope for everything would be my dad who often support what I want to do. So I looked at my dad who stood by the drain side.
He was just looking. Nothing else.
I couldn't stand the silence. I asked, aren't you going to do something?
"That dog is old. Leave it here."
Leave it here.
Leave it here.
Leave it here.
It was this fucking one phrase that confirmed that I am the fucking black sheep of this family.
I wanted to do something. I really do. But the size of the dog was impossible for me to do things alone. At that moment I hated myself so much. Why am I so helpless, why I can't even do things that I want peacefully at my own home?
They always say home is the only place you get your comfort. Where is mine? Why do I always get the opposite when I'm home?
I feel like a troubled teenager now. I'm back to the troubled self when I was 16, when I was at my most rebellious time. I thought time would change things around, but I was wrong. It was only getting worse.
This home shuts me down, from any possible thinking or voice.
Sometimes when I think of my future, I would very much like to be living alone, supporting myself with the money I earn. But I know I won't and I can't do that. There is still responsibility that I need to shoulder on. I can't be selfish.
Some may think the incident above is trivial. But you won't understand how I feel. You are not the one who live in this home for the past 22 years.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
寂寞的恋人啊
固执的7-11
尾声啦夏天
太亮的霓虹灯
天空的颜色好浅
傻子才争吵啊
落叶是树的风险
情感是偶发的事件
用偏方治好失眠
满意你爱的吗
有何新发现
温柔的试验
恋爱的肢体语言
努力爱一个人
和幸福并无关连
小心那爱与不爱之间
里的不是太远
吞下寂寞的恋人啊
试着辛苦的去了解
却是遗憾少见 有谁如愿
真是让人不甘心啊
越是相爱的两个人
越是容易让彼此疼
疲惫了 放手了
不值得 不要了
尾声啦夏天
太亮的霓虹灯
天空的颜色好浅
傻子才争吵啊
落叶是树的风险
情感是偶发的事件
用偏方治好失眠
满意你爱的吗
有何新发现
温柔的试验
恋爱的肢体语言
努力爱一个人
和幸福并无关连
小心那爱与不爱之间
里的不是太远
吞下寂寞的恋人啊
试着辛苦的去了解
却是遗憾少见 有谁如愿
真是让人不甘心啊
越是相爱的两个人
越是容易让彼此疼
疲惫了 放手了
不值得 不要了
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Old Memories
Dug out all those old photos from my old study table's drawer.
Memories came flashing back. Most of it were laughter. Which idiot will take picture of themselves when they cry like hell.
But there's one in particular, a photo 3 years back that cost me RM 12 from Genting Highland roller coaster ride. It was my first time to go up there, my first time to go play at a proper theme park, my first time to a casino, my first time going to a trip with my boyfriend that time. That photo, had a lot of first time.
I chuckled a bit when I thought of all those crazy things I did with that gang that time. My cousin was my partner in crime. My boyfriend that time, was an all-time supporter for everything that I wanted to do.
But everything has changed now. I grew up. My partner in crime went out to the real world and earn her own dimes, my boyfriend that time went away for better things in his life. Gang in the picture all went separate ways, some for good, some for bad. I wonder, when will the same happy gang gather again, despite all those differences and misunderstanding that had happened?
Humans are just too good in remembering the faults and lies that had done on them. They never really forget, although they could forgive. When lies and faults came adding to a relationship, is it no longer pure, or even worthy to be treasured?
Other old photos proved me right. I had lost too much friends, most of it, was because of lies and faults.
I saw those young faces and look in the mirror. Am I the same person that I see now in the picture? I shook my head, definitely not. We are no longer young and innocent, just like me and my partner in crime. We are no longer girls who talk about boys problem together and would be extremely happy when we get to pull an all-nighter playing games and eat midnight ice cream.
So much have changed. Too much till I can't even recognize my old self. All these are too scary, yet so true. Reality is bloody realistic when it comes to this.
I kept back all those photos in my drawer in shut it tight.
Memories came flashing back. Most of it were laughter. Which idiot will take picture of themselves when they cry like hell.
But there's one in particular, a photo 3 years back that cost me RM 12 from Genting Highland roller coaster ride. It was my first time to go up there, my first time to go play at a proper theme park, my first time to a casino, my first time going to a trip with my boyfriend that time. That photo, had a lot of first time.
I chuckled a bit when I thought of all those crazy things I did with that gang that time. My cousin was my partner in crime. My boyfriend that time, was an all-time supporter for everything that I wanted to do.
But everything has changed now. I grew up. My partner in crime went out to the real world and earn her own dimes, my boyfriend that time went away for better things in his life. Gang in the picture all went separate ways, some for good, some for bad. I wonder, when will the same happy gang gather again, despite all those differences and misunderstanding that had happened?
Humans are just too good in remembering the faults and lies that had done on them. They never really forget, although they could forgive. When lies and faults came adding to a relationship, is it no longer pure, or even worthy to be treasured?
Other old photos proved me right. I had lost too much friends, most of it, was because of lies and faults.
I saw those young faces and look in the mirror. Am I the same person that I see now in the picture? I shook my head, definitely not. We are no longer young and innocent, just like me and my partner in crime. We are no longer girls who talk about boys problem together and would be extremely happy when we get to pull an all-nighter playing games and eat midnight ice cream.
So much have changed. Too much till I can't even recognize my old self. All these are too scary, yet so true. Reality is bloody realistic when it comes to this.
I kept back all those photos in my drawer in shut it tight.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Life as It Is
Life goes on as it is, and it never really allow me time to look back. It's harsh and stone cold. Sometimes I got stunned in the middle of it, I can't move on or surpass something that I should have. Life, why must you be so cold on me?
Having my so-called holiday now, but everything seemed to be so uptight. Bad news coming one after another. Some say it's time for me to grow up a little bit more, face the reality in a harder way. But I'm so reluctant to move out from my comfort zone. I have been under this for such a long time. A sudden change, will that make any good for me? Plus it's only for such short period of time, is it worth it?
But no doubt this is another eye-opener for me. A good incident to show me the true colours of people beside me. They taught me to be independent, they taught me how to put myself in the front line rather than thinking about them. I am no saint or angel, I admit. I am evil and selfish at times, I admit. But which life or reality doesn't push us to be that kind of person? Tell me and give me an answer, and I'll get a gun and shoot myself in my head.
So I guess by this end of 2010, I need to complete some of my year end resolution, in order to survive and move on. Because life is as it is. Life don't wait for no one. Life is harsh. Life sucks.
Having my so-called holiday now, but everything seemed to be so uptight. Bad news coming one after another. Some say it's time for me to grow up a little bit more, face the reality in a harder way. But I'm so reluctant to move out from my comfort zone. I have been under this for such a long time. A sudden change, will that make any good for me? Plus it's only for such short period of time, is it worth it?
But no doubt this is another eye-opener for me. A good incident to show me the true colours of people beside me. They taught me to be independent, they taught me how to put myself in the front line rather than thinking about them. I am no saint or angel, I admit. I am evil and selfish at times, I admit. But which life or reality doesn't push us to be that kind of person? Tell me and give me an answer, and I'll get a gun and shoot myself in my head.
So I guess by this end of 2010, I need to complete some of my year end resolution, in order to survive and move on. Because life is as it is. Life don't wait for no one. Life is harsh. Life sucks.
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