I close my eyes and my world is not black, I see blue, red, orange, and gold. I see the sun shines brightly, I wanted to smile, but when I realised the dark clouds above my head, my smile faded.
Talk about nightmares, this nightmare is really pea-ish.
And for a few days I refused to sleep early. I would slack around and do some stuff, never allow myself to touch my pillows. Until I was really tired and finally draged myself to the bed and went off.
This is sick, I know. But it's out of my control, you know.
Right now I'm sitting down and looking at this screen, and I whisper: This lappy sucks, how I wish I can change it tomorrow. My roomate still hitting hard on the keypad, trying to finish up her thesis draft to her supervisor tomorrow. I am hitting hard on my keypad, trying to make the uneasy feelings in my stomach to go away.
Sooner or later I'll go crazy.
I'm the rag doll here.. with a sewed smile..
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