Do You Know?

Do you know?
That I'm actually all choked up because of you?
Because of all those tears for you?

Those tears, that I once vowed I will never show again.
Those pain, that I once swore I will not endure again.
Those heartache, that I once cursed I will not have again.

But it's all there, on that very night.

Do you know that I am so worn out?

Have you ever try to understand the reason why?

Even if it's just a simple pat on my head, or a simple promise from you for me, it will be more than enough to stop those silly feelings.

But I know you can't do it. You won't do it, and you will never know.

That Feeling of Heartache

It was there again, that feeling of heartache I once used to feel. I wanted so much to tell myself that it's nothing, but it is just not possible.

We are already so far apart. Why can't you be more sensitive to what I feel? Why can't you try to be me and imagine how I feel? Sometimes I hate you so much, but I'm at fault too.

I can't bring myself to trust you. I'm sorry.

Forgive me because I can't stand those sights. Forgive me because I am this narrow-minded. I can't, i just can't.

Maybe it's time now. Is it time?

There's a Limit To Everything

When I tell you that it's out of my limit, then it is out of my freaking limit. I don't do jealousy.

Us Apart

There's so much uncertainties and differences going on lately. Because of distance? No?

I guess that distance does matter. No matter how hard you try, there's always this gap that you can never go through. The lack of the physical companion, and the emptiness that cannot be filled at the right moment or the right time.

It's even more tiring when you think that you are the only one who's making all the effort.

Slightly Abandoned Blog

Been neglecting this blog for quite some time now. I was really busy with my new job. Everyday was so packed with the preparation for the teaching tomorrow and stressing about how to handle those monkeys in school. Life as a teacher is really hectic. I guess I will have to learn to be more "stone-hearted" before I can really be at ease in this job.

I wish I could be those really "veteran" teachers who are "stone-hearted". I got to know from my current students that their previous teachers used to let them copy all the notes and exercises from the blackboard and that's it. No teaching was done and students are left to figure out the whole lesson on their own.

But deep in my heart I told myself I will not act like those teachers that are really irresponsible. I will not disappoint those young minds with those kind of irresponsible teaching. I am not messing up with our future generations!

And I guess I will never be at ease doing my job. When I vowed to be this serious with my job, I am also vowed to be forever bullied by those young kids.

FML