It's Not a Place I Belong

Festive season, everybody looking forward to go home. I'm not.

This place called home doesn't really bring me any warmth or comfort I'm supposed to feel. What it really brings, are more disappointments and endless frown.

I would tuned the music to the point I can't listen to any outside voices, and live alone in my own world. One whole day right in front of my lappy, one whole day that would be a blessing, provided there was no disturbance of sudden loud arguments or sudden smack on my shoulder asking me to stop staring at the screen.

It's so hard to be here. It's getting harder when people starts to tell you what to do today, where to go later. It's the hardest when people you called family condemn and mock every move you make. It's the hardest when people you called family threaten you to death when you put on a straight face and refused to say a word.

What's my silence when you people do such a thing in this place called home? When you don't respect this place, why should I even waste my voice in this place?

I was being nice by not saying a word. If not I would start a war.

I was used living alone outside. I know what I'm supposed to do. I had my own future planned. I know what I want. I know what I need and what I like to do when I'm free.

I do not need another person who don't really understand me to tell me all these things.

It saddens you more when a figure you once looked up to now fails you.

This was a place where I used to find shelter or comfort. Why is it not anymore?
It's because of you people. Why don't you people accept changes and shut the hell up?