It's 2011

It's almost till the end of January now. Feels like everything is flying through in an amazing speed. I didn't even have a chance to slow down and catch my breath. Life is just hectic for the new year start.

A lot of things changed. I have to grow up this year. Moving out, supporting myself. There are a lot of things that I realized I can't rely on others anymore. Especially with my mom and dad not working. I suddenly felt a heavy responsibility to shoulder my family. I know it's not the time yet but the feeling is so strong, until I choke on myself sometimes. Is this the feeling that I should be having to be truly growing up?

Somebody is fireworks outside of my rental house. I wonder how long that beautiful thing going to last.

It's 2011. Everything till now was not easy at all. At this moment, this is the moment I teared for the first time this year. And I thought I could be stronger after so many things that happened.

It wasn't easy, at all.

With you, it's so hard when you're not with me. When you're angry with me, everything just felt not right. Why are you always angry with me? What more can I do? Why aren't you even talking to me? What did I do to make you this cold to me?

You, I'm running out of ideas, do you know that?

2011, I shall cry myself to sleep tonight. I hope those tears could turn into my rainbow tomorrow.