#ForeverAlone Christmas

The title mentioned it all, I'm not celebrating this Christmas. Some people whom you think he/she cares would just easily abandon you when other entertainment presents. FML

All I Want For Christmas Is You

Santa hasn't been really kind to me for the past few years, because all he gave to me was an empty pocket and a real fatty tummy. Every Christmas all I can think of was the food, and the cheap shopping that comes after the food; and when it's finally the new year time, I got to stay home and slurp instant noodles in my mouth.

BUT 'FRAID NOT THIS YEAR, AZORIAS IS GOING TO GRANT MY WISHLIST WITHOUT ME SPENDING A DIME!!
How cool is that!



OH YEAH ~

So for my wishlist, I'm not going to be greedy, I'll just pick the one and only. :)

Check this out!



ONE statement fashion piece is ENOUGH TO DO LOTS OF THINGS!

This jacket is simply fantastic as it can toughen up the whole look easily with a strong hint of fashion. It can be paired up for work, and also for play. This jacket brings instant chic-ness for the one who is wearing it, and it will definitely brings attention!

So, enough words, JUST GIVE ME MY JACKET ALREADY! :P


p/s: people! Do remember to shop at azorias.com for awesome clothes and fashion statement pieces like this. Wish me luck on this! :)
Here's the link to my Azorias wishlist: http://azorias.com/wishlist/

Don't You Wanna Stay

Another page of my life had just gone by, and thank God everything went smoothly. Soon I'll be stepping into the next chapter of my life where I have to shoulder more responsibilities as an adult. But the truth is, I have been dreading this moment to come.

What I really want is to just stay as a happy student that I once was, and the biggest problem of my life is when my boyfriend dumped me.

But now everything is not as easy as before. My biggest problem now no longer concerns only me, but people around me. I have to start thinking for another person, have to be considerate, have to be tolerable. I have to be someone for somebody else.

But seriously, don't you wanna stay at that point, where nothing matters, and the world consists only you? Don't you wanna stay that way?

Do You Notice Yourself When You Have Gone Overboard?

Most of us doesn't really pay attention to what we are saying at the moment, where things simply slip out from our mouths. We do noticed this when other people do it right in front of us, and we would give either direct or silent comments about the insensitivity of this person. But how many of us, actually realized the same situation when we ourselves do it?

You won't realize it, do you? Even if you do, it would be too awkward for you to apologize and to take back whatever that you have said.

But words can't be taken back. Once it is heard, it is registered right there and then into the listeners' minds, so there's no turning back.

So when you tell me that, "I said sorry, what more do you want?"
Let me tell you, once harsh feelings has been caused, it is kinda hard for the person being commented by your "accidental slips" would forgive you in any time soon.

I understand that we live in a world full of criticism and judgments, but we must always remind ourselves that our words alone is the most powerful weapon to help you either to elevate or to push yourself down in this social circle. So please please please, always spell-check yourself whenever you feel like blurting out something on someone, or to make immediate comments on the other person. Please evaluate the situation where you are about to make comments on, whether or not it is appropriate.

You probably think all these are bullshits. If you are, you might be the person who do all these bullshits. Word of advice, look in the mirror to comment on yourself before you make comments on others. Think of the kind of rumours to spread about yourself before you bad-mouth on the others.

The world doesn't need another piece of junk like you. I might as well recycle you in the bin for the greater good on Earth.

Abandoned, again

I figure I've been abandoned my blog for quite some time - 2 months to be exact. Been no mood to do anything significant in my life except for handling monster spawns in my school. I let out a really big sigh when it was their last day of school. FINALLY they had something better to do instead of ruining my mood every day.

Life has treated me real "kind" so far, looking at all the fats that I have been collecting over the months. My weight has gone to another height in my life, which is not something that I am really proud to say. I kept telling myself to stop eating but it seems like I can't take my own advice.

Other than that, I figure the last big challenge for me in this 2011 would be my SPP interview, which is on this 25th. I have no freaking mood to study and have no freaking clue on what it will be. I just hope everything will turn out fine and I got my job, hopefully. The government owe all TESL graduates this much - to pass us all and let us all get our much-delayed job.

Will update again when I finish with that stupid interview. No time for me to emo now, even online.

Challenges

Wasn't really in my best of mood. Tonight will be the first night that I'm still awake after 12am since I've started working 2 months ago.

Got some really bad news, and was thinking life is really a bitch to everyone. Life comes and goes so easily and there's no way to predict. How can we mere humans take this? Sometimes I was thinking, if this is some sort of challenge from God, isn't it too over-whelming?

I am lucky that I do not have to endure all these loss and pain. But for those who had to around me, I felt extremely sorry and guilty. Who am I to deserve better treatment from God when I'm a worse person?

I am not proud of who I was, and there were so many things that I wished I had not done in the past. Though I don't ask for bad things to happen to me or my family, but I do not wish the pain to be endured by my friends.

If I could, I would take the pain.

If I could, I would switch place with them.

But who on earth would be this noble? All these are merely my emotions talking. But am I willing to actually do it?

I don't know.

I am a weak human being too. I can't take those pain and loss too.

All I can say is, be strong. I will always be at your side when you need me.

Do You Know?

Do you know?
That I'm actually all choked up because of you?
Because of all those tears for you?

Those tears, that I once vowed I will never show again.
Those pain, that I once swore I will not endure again.
Those heartache, that I once cursed I will not have again.

But it's all there, on that very night.

Do you know that I am so worn out?

Have you ever try to understand the reason why?

Even if it's just a simple pat on my head, or a simple promise from you for me, it will be more than enough to stop those silly feelings.

But I know you can't do it. You won't do it, and you will never know.